With Endless Love, We Left You Sleeping

by Marcus Loren Matthews

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(c) 2010 Kilhippie Global (ASCAP)


released July 24, 2010

Written, Performed, Produced, Mixed, and Mastered by TVM, except where noted.

Thanks to Brittney, Shawna, Kristy, Syd, Dan, Jimmie, Mom, James, and everyone who has supported me over the years.



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Marcus Loren Matthews Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: Down
Windfall, come the dawn
slow returning
daddy, wait for me
I'll be coming
tear-stained paper dolls
no tears for you
it's a long way down
breath your oxygen
rise with morning
dance the end of days
dance your glory
it's a long way down
Track Name: Hymn
Halleluia, the Devil's got me now
Track Name: Love Is Not The Answer
Bursting from our tides, ordinary
the spaces in-between duly fortified
I can't say I fully understand
but then neither can you
at least not honestly
fast I fall away, deep into the outland
where they say, love is not the answer
bleeding from the eyes, bitter from the effort
please don't say a word, baby please
'cause I will blame you, and you will blame the fortunes
it's not fair either way, it's not for us to say
all things fall to dust, and those left standing ruminate
as one they scream for you
fast I fall away, deep into the outland
a young girl takes my hand
and whispers sweet and quietly
love is not the answer
Track Name: Lonely In L.A.
I messed this up, I know
that's what I always do
but you did too
I think we're both to blame
but I ain't gonna be the one who's lonely
we could make amends
I know we could work this out somehow
I think that I could change
and I know you wont
so ends this game
it's never twice the same
but the difference between this time and last
and next time, is that my time has come and gone
now it's late, I can feel the wine creeping up
and I'm just as scared as you are
Track Name: singlecaraccident
once more we congregate
once more we pool our strength
and there's power in this joining
100,000 years...crash
in our resting in our sleep
plotting, not dreaming...no not again
pray the saints don't kill the sinners
pray god gets you when you die...crash
in time we'll see the error
in judgment, we won't care
we'll have drove it all to hell
so reach and jerk the wheel
'til we can't feel...crash
Track Name: Walk Away Running
Wait for the awful sound
offer a screaming child
gleaming and overblown
move like you've got somewhere to go
if you ever come again
bring your guns, you're gonna need them
if you ever walk away, running
the coffers are empty
the coffins are bleeding (the coffins stand ready)
my memories escape me
what were you saying
I can't, I won't, I never said I would
you did, you know you said it
you passed me over, you did
if you ever walk away
take your guns, you're gonna need them
if you ever come again, running
Track Name: You Scare Me
I greet the day in this hotel
the old men say I don't belong
but smile at me and all is well
and guns don't scare me, but you do
and death don't scare me, but you do
and girls don't scare me, but you do
can I touch you, could you love me
and in return, would I destroy
is that real fear, or cowardice
my inside life seems far away
Track Name: Last Will and Testament
I am the least of all the saints
I'll make you a star, baby
I am the gun four bullets gone
I have the last will and testament
I'll make you a deal, baby
Then I'm gone
I have the will to make you mine
this is the path I've laid, baby
this is the sum of who I am, in my hands
please lock the door when you go home
now you're gone
I'm gone
Track Name: (Go) Down
I can't get any, Jane's in the slammer
on a short stretch for non-compliance
but who gives a damn
where we gonna get it, man we're gonna get it now
so ask that junkie who aches for your body
say you'll work a trade
go down, or maybe I will
I can't get any, sucked every Johnny
only made enough for the cab fare and a nickel bag
I'd share it but I shot it, share it but I shot it all
go ask that pusher who aches for your funky ass
Track Name: 3 Bad Things
I did three bad things today
I bought 15 books that I've no intention of reading
to make it look like someone actually lives here
I mixed chlorine with formaldehyde
and the fume burned my alveoli
I wont do that again
I tore up all my poetry
it's the last of what remains of me
I did three bad things today
I looked up where you live in the phone book
and I sat outside while you washed your hair
and thought, I could solve the problems of my life
with a ten inch fuckin' bowie knife
but I doubt you'd even care
I'd relate to you all the other times
but I can't think of a thing that rhymes
I did three bad things today
I went back to the house that I was born in
and I lit the match that burned it to the ground
I went down to the corner bar
and I gave someone my brand new car (I was drunk)
I walked down to your parent's place
and I put that pistol to my face
I did three bad things today
Track Name: Interlude: Say The Words
Paper words sung in sequence
sacred words sung in time
say the words and I'll forgive you
say the words
Track Name: Wait Until You Start (Part 1)
Got a nation of disdain
and a handful of your earth
a ring for every hand
bile for your batter
and I won't go down alone
I've made the bed for you
so much I need to say
but this liquor makes me dumb
I could purge you just the same
but your change is gonna come
I know it's hard, but I'll wait until you start
blink just once if you concede
I'll draw up the papers
starve the timid from your midst
belief is what matters
'cause I won't go down alone
for king nor for empire
Track Name: What I Do
When I come knocking
will you let me in
given my condition
when I run fastly (I know…that's not a real word...suck it)
will you chase me down
is it over now
should I change my mind
and childlike shed my tears
is that what you want, or what you need
or don't you care at all what I do
when I come knocking
will he hide away, or boldly posture
and in that moment can I conjure up
a me who gives a damn
Track Name: Happy Saint Valentine's Day, Bitch
Not important.
Track Name: Mom and Dad
Whats wrong with me
I can't sleep at night from wondering about you
and what you think of your boy
is he tall and good
is he big and strong or is he just a shadow
of what you'd hoped for
I think you had in mind someone other than I
and you wanted so much more than this for me
I'm sorry mom that I would not comply
I'm sorry dad if I ruined your life
I'm sorry mom that I do not inspire the pride
that you feel when you look at your other child
whats wrong with me
I've never had somebody who loved me
at least not in that way
is it uncommon bad luck
or am I just the son of my father
do I even know love
mother in Jesus time he died for your sins not mine
the god of love is not the god for me
one day I'll live again
one day they'll have parades in my honor
a lifetime achievement
and they'll turn and say
that's a damn fine boy that you've got there
and everyone will nod in agreement
but 'til that day comes we're both stuck with me
the man that you raised me not to be
Track Name: Refuge
You're a complicated boy
a misfit caught in the machine
feeling awkward you shut down
reeling, on the edge of sane
prayers that fall of deaf ears
god is not the lonely one
if you're weary come to me
I have built a refuge here
you're a saturated girl
no, you're body's not the same
as the girls on the TV
so you settle for your fate
and you cry yourself to sleep
for the dreams you'll never see
children born to walk alone
you are not the only ones
I just never could fit in
so just stand a noble stand
and embrace your energy
you are beautiful to me
they can all just fade away
pain cannot control you now
I have built a refuge here
a heaven for my angels
lift your hands and scream your name
you have been and you will be
all my angels
raise the flag of the unknown
I have built a refuge here
a heaven for my angels